Breast Cancer and Forgiveness

The other day, I was talking with a girlfriend who is in a process of getting divorced from her husband after 30 years of marriage. After listening to her complaints for 30 minutes, she declared, “I will never forgive him” for this, “I will never forgive him” for that.
Now, I could totally understand her frustration. However, what I could not understand was: What is she trying to accomplish, by declaring, “I will never forgive him. Is she trying to punish him by holding grudges forever? If she wants to hold grudges and not forgive him, whom is she hurting? She is definitely not hurting him because he does not know anything about it.
So, who is really getting hurt if she does not forgive him? Yes, you are right. She is hurting herself and only herself. If I did not forgive my doctors for their misconduct during my breast cancer and mastectomy who would suffer the doctors or me.
Many people think that to forgive someone is to say, “What you did to me is OK”. When we choose to forgive, we are simply letting go of our end of the chain that keeps us enslaved to the past and bound to that person and whatever happened. By forgiving, we are taking our focus off a crippling vision, in my case my breast cancer, and replacing it with what we desire to create.
Breast cancer doctors admit that some cancer patient could get well on a physical level and survive, but they die anyway because they have unresolved forgiveness issues in their lives.
By choosing to forgive and respond with love rather than fear–we free ourselves. We sweep away the years of built-up sludge that jam up the channels through which abundance of every kind flows, and we move more firmly into our power to manifest that peaceful, prosperous world we want to live in.
Forgiving is something that a person does for himself and not for somebody else.
With much Love and Forgiveness,
Lea Yekutiel – author
Making the Breast of It:
Overcoming Fear of Intimacy After Breast Cancer
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